The beauty of New Zealand

I was just going through the folder in my computer and found these lovely pictures from our family trip in 2008!! How time has passed and life has changed! It was a lovely trip with my parents and brother.

We flied down to Christchurch from Auckland and we drove our way around the bottom part of South Island. New Zealand is surely a beautiful country! I know I might be biased and if you see these pictures, hopefully you would agree with me :) These pictures are taken from various places in New Zealand by a person who did not even know how to take proper pictures. So, in reality it really IS very beautiful!

A letter to my daughter - 25062015

Dearest E,

There I was, sitting on the sofa with you sleeping in my arms. Have not really spending this kind of time with you for a while. No TV, no mobile phone, no nothing. Just you and me and I could even hear your breathing. I still could not believe how much you have grown, you are no longer a newborn but an infant and soon you will be a pretty little girl. I love you so much..

Lately I just realise that not only I have you as my daughter, but you also have me as your mom. There are times when I am scared that I might 'fail' you. You desereve the best and nothing but the best, however I would be the first one to tell you that I most probably am not the best mother in the world. It does not mean I am not trying because I can promise you that I am trying my best to be the best mom for you.

There are times when I worry that I might spoil you too much that you will become a spoiled brat! I think I will need to let you face enough 'dissapointments' that you become a ressiliant and strong person, but not too much so that you become a negative and bitter person. I need to give you enough advice and direction so that hopefully you make the right decision everytime, but know my limit so I don't force what I want in your life.

I love you so much my baby girl. If I can, I want to protect you forever from any failures, pain, dissapointments, bad things and people. If I can, I want go give you everything you want so you can be happy every single day of your life. You know, you will definitely grow older,  but remember this, you will always be my little girl and I will always be there for you.

Love, hugs and kisses,
Mom

Motherhood

To this day, I sometimes still can't believe that I am a mother. My little sweet angel turned 6 months old on 14th of June and I am very relieve that me, my husband and the baby have survived the journey so far. I know we will be fine and will enjoy many many exciting years ahead together.

Being a mom is not easy. There are times when I just feel like I can't do this anymore or when I am jealous of my husband going to work (currently I am on my maternity leave and a SAHM). But truth to be told, most of the time I enjoy being a mom. I love seeing her smiles, hear her laughter and very excited to find out what new things she has learned today. She never stop to surprise me.

I know I am relatively new at this but there are definitely a few things that I have learned about motherhood. I put these lessons in my mind so I can keep going and not losing my sanity.

1. Listen to what others have to say but trust your instinct
People like to help and give suggestions to new moms. These include a random person in supermarket, your family, every single person in your coffee groups, etc. It is definitely information and suggestions overloaded! It is definitely not a bad idea to hear what they say (especially if they are experienced mothers) but at the end of the day, the baby is YOUR child and you will know him/her the best. Choose and apply what will work for YOU and YOUR FAMILY. Motherhood is not a sprint but a long distance journey.

2. Create a good support system
Involve your family, attend classes, go out with your friends, join coffee groups, etc. You got the idea. Motherhood can be lonely sometimes and that is why you need people to talk to or simply vent. However, don't forget to spend some time with your baby as well because..

3. The days are long but the years are short
If you have read the Happiness Project book, you would be very familiar with this saying. I still remember when we just had Miss E and I thought whether I would ever see the end of this broken sleep and feeding all the time tunnel. But we did! And I really can't believe (again) that she is already 6 months old. We haven't even done the newborn footprint/handprint cast because I keep thinking of doing it 'tomorrow'. Enjoy the present, enjoy every moment because once it is gone, you can't get it back

4. It is ok to get angry, vent, feel down and lost, etc...
It is part of a being human. It does not mean that you are a bad mother or you don't love your children. Cut yourself some slack. However, if you feel that way all the time, than maybe you need to get some professional help because it could lead to a depression

5. Don't be shy to ask for help
I will be the first one to say that I am no supermom. I have my limit and sometimes I need help from my friends and families. It doesn't mean that I am incapable of being a mom (eventhough sometimes I think like that), but I will burn out if I don't ask for help. Remember this Happy Mom, Happy Children and Husband :)

Well I think that would be my top 5 lessons of 6 months becoming a mother. Cheers to many more years to come!!!!!

6 months old Miss E